[ColorForth] Jeff's philosophy and dharma

[Jeff Fox <fox@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

If you don't speak sanscrit dharma is sort of like
your work in this life, your mission, and what
you are suppose to be doing on your path this time.

One of my masters, Chiba Shihan, once said,

"You people have a silly illusion in the West
expressed as "All paths lead to the top of the
mountain." and that is bad because
on a mountain all paths lead up or down and
it is easy to find up but _not_ all paths lead
to the top and there _isn't_ only one mountain."

No, of course not.  One of my favorite and
most peaceful ancient and eduring places where
I loved to practice my breathing is Mount
Chiba Shihan.  And I loved to see how that
grand peak could fit into the stomach of
Mount O'Sawa Shihan, one of my favorite
places.

It is known as the local slope problem
here by your mathemeticians and scientists
here, if I didn't mangle your language again.
Please forgive me if I did.

Most who seek to climb a mountain will stay.
Some will see that it is there dharma to
slide back down the razorblade of life
and talk about the path they followed and
the mountain they found with fellow beings
down here who want or need to find the path to 
their mountain too or those who are
currious about us back there.

Those who see this as their dharma know
that is a much steeper mountain to climb
for us than our favoite one and that it is
very hard for us to do.  We don't like it down
here, it is hard for us to breath down
here, we _had_ to leave to find our mountain,
we had no choice and most of loved most
of what you lucky people have here, but
we hated not being able to breath.

For some of us it is our dharma to climb back 
down for a while and endure what we could not
before, we can endure it for a while now,
for a while, now that we have rested and caught 
our breath back at home.

I have climbed many mountains, and I love
them all and the climb.  I love some of
them more than others.  King's Mountain
is not my personal favorite but I will climb
over it again on my next journey home and
visit Chuck.  I offered to bring some
things down from there last time and bring 
him some things back when I passed by again.
I offered to carry some of his baggage
along with mine so that he could 
do his more important work.

Please understand that it is simply my dharma
to leave here again because I must go where
I can breath properly again.  I will miss
you all but you will be in my thoughts and
I thank you all very much for all your
help and hospitaliy and kindness while
I was on this particlar difficult climb.
I can only breath rarefied air.  Please
be kind to me because of this illness.

I will soon have to return to my mountain.
I will love it when those of you who's
dharma it is to find your mountain see
me from closeby or from your mountain
and we think of each other.  I wish all
of those of you who can stay down here
and give to all the best wishes for
whatever your dreams are.  And I assure
you that more of you will find them than
you realize.

If it is your dharma to pass by on my mountain
I will sigh, and smile, and say, "I have been
expecting you."  Wait and see.

I have tried to describe some of my previous
journeys to those who asked.  I appologize
for not understanding your language well
and to those who I have hurt by something
that I said (except for those who
asked for it because they asked me to try
again even it did hurt to help them get
it, as I have done with many of my teachers.)  
It was certainly not my intention to hurt anyone.

If you come to visit me I can teach you
our language.  Then we can talk about
the things we talk about there.  We have
breathing classes too and we love them.
I can't really teach you that here you
see, at least not the way we do it in
our school there because it just doesn't
work nearly as well here and so our style
is harder to learn here and so it is
better for everyone if those who are
interested in that go out and do that there.
Anyway, when I can breath I can do a
better job of teaching.  Please forgive
me for my illness.

I can try to explain to you how I breath
in couple of paragraphs if you like before
I have to go if you are interested in
getting an introduction now.  I know that for
most of you it is not your dharma to go
there and that it would not be the same
for you as for those of us who must go
there because of our illness and can
really only breath there and who find
it virtually impossible to breath here.
It helps explain why we love it so much
there.  Some of you can't breath here
either and didn't notice that you had
a milder case, or were developing case of
my illness because of the changing environment
here either.  But if it gets worse
for any of you please consider coming
to see us so that we can try to replay
some of your kindness to me.   They 
will all know you there because I will
tell them about you with fond memories
and they will try to make you feel at
home and with family.  We don't have
a lot of visitors there and it is very
special for us.  We have a simple life
but will offer you the best of what
we have there.

I had been away for a while and so
I had more culture shock trying to
understand and relate to all the
changes here since I last passed
by here.  It was big problem for me
and I often worried that I didn't 
understand anything here very well
this last time.  But I try.  Please
have patience with me as I have a
few image problems and blind spots
too.

I really look forward to when I will 
see you again, if I pass by here again
or if you need to come stay with us
or pass by along your journeys.

You will see me again before I go. So
if you didn't understand the directions
because I am not very good with your
language or you didn't arrive when I
was talking about that and answering
those questions, please ask again before
I go.  Or if you have any questions
for me about my home, my language,
or my friends, or have any messages
or things I can take them please
talk to me.  But remember that I
growing old and have agreed to bring
some things back with me already.
But talk to me about that as we
might find someone else to help
carry something if you need it
delivered and I can't do it personally.

Anyone is also free to come along with me
and I would enjoy the company.  But this
time I am growing older and if you go off
on this climb with me I might ask you
to carry some of the load that I have
agreed to carry back to my friends back
there who could not come with me this
time or just can't breath here at all.

A parting thought.  Fight hard to keep
the illusions that you need and treasure
as I will.  And if you have nothing better
to do consider visiting us because we
love it back there.

Best wishes,
the Fox
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