Microsoft Announces Improved BSOD

["vic plichota" <atsvap@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

REDMOND, WA.  In a surprise announcement today, Microsoft President
Steve
Balmer revealed that the Redmond based company will allow computer
resellers
and end-users to customize the appearance of the Blue Screen of Death
(abbreviated BSOD), the screen that displays when the Windows
operating
system crashes.

 The move comes as the result of numerous focus groups and customer
surveys
done by Microsoft. Thousands of Microsoft customers were asked, "What
do you
spend the most time doing on your computer?" A surprising number of
respondents said, "Staring at a Blue Screen of Death". At 54 percent,
it was
the top answer, beating the second place answer "Downloading
Pornography" by an easy 12 points.

"We immediately recognized this as a great opportunity for ourselves,
our
channel partners, and especially our customers." explained the
excited
Ballmer to a room full of reporters.

Immense video displays were used to show images of the new
customizable
BSOD screen side-by-side with the older static version.  Users can
select
from a collection of "BSOD Themes", allowing them to instead have a
Mauve
Screen of Death or even a Paisley Screen of Death. Graphics and
multimedia
content can now be incorporated into the screen, making the BSOD the
perfect
conduit for delivering product information and entertainment to
Windows
users.

The Blue Screen of Death is by far the most recognized feature of the
Windows (tm) operating system, and as a result, Microsoft has
historically
insisted on total control over its look-and-feel. This recent
departure from
that policy reflects Microsoft's recognition of the Windows desktop
itself
as the "ultimate information portal." By default, the new BSOD will
be
configured to show a random selection of Microsoft product
information
whenever the system crashes. Microsoft channel partners can negotiate
with
Microsoft for the right to customize the BSOD on systems they ship.

Major computer resellers such as Compaq, Gateway, and Dell are
already
lining up for premier placement on the new and improved BSOD.

Balmer concluded by getting a dig in against the Open Source
community.
"This just goes to show that Microsoft continues to innovate at a
much
faster pace than open source. I have yet to see any evidence that
Linux or
OpenBSD even have a BSOD, let alone a customizable one."